I'm Not Good At Goodbyes
by TaylorDann
Summary: Camille took a huge breath and tried to breathe her in. She hugged her tighter than ever and tried to memorize every curve of her body and the way their bodies molded together. She couldn't believe this was goodbye.


Disclaimer: I own nothing, as per usual.

A/N: Takes place in Big Time Break Up! Okay, this REALLY did not turn out how I wanted it to, but it's okay, I guess? I don't know. Tell me what YOU think. Constructive criticism is always welcome!

"I got the part. I'm going to be Chauncey." Jo said to her with a sad smile on her face.

"Wow, congratulations!" Camille replied with a confused smile, "But you don't seem so excited, what's wrong?"

"It's a three movie deal. I'm supposed to leave this Friday for New Zealand… for three years."

Camille felt a sharp pain in her chest and all the air go out of her lungs like someone had socked her in the stomach. Slowly regaining her composure, she let out a shaky breath and whispered, "Oh… wow."

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get out of my New High contract. I was actually just on my way there but I thought I'd stop by and tell you first."

A sad, strange silence overcame them. Camille couldn't do anything but stare at the floor and pray she had the strength to hold back her tears. _This isn't supposed to happen. She's still with Kendall. She's not supposed to just up and leave me. _A tear threatened to fall. _It's no wonder I haven't been booking any acting parts. I suck at holding back emotions._

"Well… I'll be going now, I guess. See you later." Jo said with a little wave.

-Hours Later-

It was a perfect moment to Camille. Jo was lying on her with her head in her lap, and Camille was running her hands through her luscious wavy blond hair… Or, it would've been if she weren't crying.

"Cami? I d-don't get it. Kendall was SUCH a jerk tonight! He was acting as if he wanted me to leave. He was just being so _mean_."

As much as it pained Camille to say this, she had to, "Jo… Did you ever stop to think for a moment that he was acting that way because to protect you?"

"W-what?"

"He wanted you to break up with him so you didn't have to worry about how he was when you were filming. He didn't want you to feel guilty for staying for him, so when you decided to not take the part, he tried to get you to break up with him so you'd take it."

As much as Camille wanted to hate Kendall, she couldn't. He was a great guy and he was great to Jo.

Jo sniffled a few more times and took a couple deep breaths before saying, "I need to go find Kendall," and hopping up off Camille's lap and heading straight out the door.

Camille felt the similar pain in her chest that she had earlier that day only this time it was because she knew Jo was going to leave and it was all her fault. _I shouldn't have said anything._ _I should've just let her think Kendall was an asshole and I could've comforted her and convinced her to stay. For me. …Ha! Yeah, right. Like that would happen. _

"Oh hey, Jo." Jo stepped into Camille's apartment and Camille couldn't help but lose her breath. Sometimes her beauty can just sneak up on her and she'll completely lose all sense of being. Everything becomes Jo. She forgets that she's with Kendall. That she's straight. That she'll never love her the way she loves her. All she can see, hear, smell, breathe, think is Jo.

But the moment is ruined quickly when Jo says, "Hi. Today's the day. Kendall should be calling me soon about when my driver arrives to take me to the airport but I wanted to stop by first."

And there it was again, that horrible pain that never seemed to go away for too long. It really was un-like anything else she had ever experienced. It was like someone was sticking their hand straight through her chest and strangling her heart and lungs, filling her head with gas and poking her in the eyes all at the same time.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that. You should get going…"

Jo gave her friend a shocked look, "Camille! You are like, my best friend! What do you mean I didn't have to stop by? Of course I did!"

"No, really, it's alright. Just, go find Kendall, okay?"

"I don't know why you're acting like this, especially on my last day here. Did I do something?"

"No, you didn't do anything. It's just…" _Actually, you did everything_, is what she wanted to scream at her. But instead, she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself like she does in her acting practices but instead a single tear dripped down the side of her face. She tried to turn around and wipe it away before Jo saw but she wasn't quick enough.

"Oh my God, Camille! Are you, crying?" She questioned incredulously. Jo had never seen her friend cry before when it wasn't for an acting part, not even after her and Logan's nasty break up. She didn't wait for a response and quickly turned her friend around and wrapped her in her arms.

Camille couldn't take it. The feeling of Jo's arms wrapped around her and her face pressed into her next was too much to bare, "How could you?" Camille choked out, clutching Jo back.

"W-what do you mean? What did I do?" Jo said pulling back, but keeping her arms around Camille and looking her questioningly in the eyes.

_How could you just waltz in to my life, steal my heart and then disappear as soon as you came and leave with it?_ Is what Camille wanted to scream but instead she said, "How could you leave me? You were my first real friend here and you'll probably be my only one. When you leave everyone is going to go back to not talking to me and calling me a freak behind my back." She diverted her eyes from the blonde's, "I just… don't know what I'm going to do without you."

"Cami, look at me," Jo whispered and tilted the brunette's head up towards hers so she was looking her in the eye again, "Is that really what this is about? You know I'm not leaving you, not really. I'm going to call you every day, twice a day. You're my best friend, Camille. Plus, you have the guys; they aren't going to turn on you. You're amazing, so extremely talented and the total opposite of a freak and anyone who thinks differently can just shove it." Camille gave her a slight smile. "Now that's what I like to see!" Jo laughs and pulls her back into her, tight.

Camille took a huge breath and tried to breathe her in. She hugged her tighter than ever and tried to memorize every curve of her body and the way their bodies molded together.

But then Jo's phone rang and she pulled back apologetically and answered, "Hello? Oh, hi Kendall. Yeah, I'll be right there. Bye," and snapped her phone shut, staring intensely at it before looking up at Camille with silent tears falling down her face. "I have to go…"

"I know." Camille said just above a whisper.

"I'll call you first thing when I land, I promise." Jo said and gave her best friend a good long squeeze before walking out the door. Camille waved at her first love until she was completely out of sight, then shut the door, fell against it and cried. _I can't believe I just let her leave. Now she'll never know how I feel. And more importantly, will this hurt ever go away?_


End file.
